Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Pieces.txt [excerpt]

"Alternative Rating Systems"
Rated U for “You won’t laugh, this is unfunny on purpose”

Dear Past, From the Future: Don’t make me come back there.

"Someone as stupid as you could think that was true."
"Someone as stupid as I does."

Children are the future of my nut sack.

“Nut Sack 2.0”

I’m sorry, son, but lust isn't greater than love - and your mom is out of the equation.

"Tongue Twister"
"To my niece I bequeath my teeth and a piece of this queef."

What do you call the useless piece of skin at the end of a penis? A foreskin. No, wait, a man. I always mess that one up. I hate being a man.

The betrayal of a syllable: "OH"

"Motto"
"Worthwhile pursuits in prehensile fur-suits"

"I thought you understood."
"They call it senseless violence for a reason."
"We could still go to the newt store."
"That won’t bring my balls back."

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